By Sixiu Ye and Jingyuan Sun, Fanshawe College, Early Childhood Leadership, Parents2Partners interns. Sixiu is passionate about inclusive learning for children with special needs and newcomer families. Jingyuan believes strong connections with families help children grow up healthy.
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School should be a place where children learn, grow, and feel safe. Harsh words and mistreatment, whether at home, at school, or among peers, can leave lasting wounds that no one sees. Understanding the impact helps adults respond with care.
What we mean
- Emotional and verbal harm: constant criticism, shouting, name calling, humiliation, rejection, intimidation, or withholding affection.
- Physical harm: any intentional use of force that hurts a child.
How it affects children
- Self esteem: children may start to feel unloved, worthless, or ashamed.
- Emotional wellbeing: anxiety, sadness, and trouble managing emotions are common.
- Self trust: children may doubt their own ideas and become afraid to speak up.
- Relationships: trusting others and making friends can become hard, leading to isolation.
- Learning: stress makes it hard to focus and remember, and fear of mistakes keeps children from trying.
Signs a child may need help
Unexplained injuries, frequent fearfulness, withdrawal or new aggression, and a sudden drop in schoolwork can all signal that a child needs support. If you suspect a child is being harmed, follow your school’s reporting procedures or contact your local child protective services.
What schools can do
- Train staff to recognize signs and respond appropriately.
- Build supportive relationships so children feel safe sharing feelings and concerns.
- Set clear policies and reporting procedures, and act promptly.
- Teach emotional literacy, including naming feelings, coping strategies, and respectful communication.
- Connect families to support such as counseling and community organizations.
What families can do
- Notice patterns of harsh speech at home and replace them with calm, respectful words.
- Listen with empathy when your child shares something hard.
- Seek guidance from a counselor or other professional if your child needs extra support to heal.
Try this at home: a respectful words role play
Choose a relaxed time to sit together. Put on simple costumes and act out a scene, like a doctor and patient or a shopkeeper and customer. Practice using kind, respectful words with each other, then switch roles. Talk afterward about how kind words made each of you feel. This playful activity builds communication skills and strengthens the parent child bond.