By Jennifer Lopez, Arizona State University, Sociology. Jennifer is a Parents2Partners intern whose work and research focus on improving the school systems that serve students.
This week I had a mock interview with my mentor to prepare for a project that will include about 15 interviews. It was my first mock interview, and it opened my eyes. I took the topic of immigration very seriously, but my intense focus on getting it right cost me connection and sensitivity.
Slow down and leave room to pause
I opened with a prepared statement to give background on the project, and I never paused. My mentor’s feedback made it clear that nerves made me rush. Those small pauses could have started the kind of conversation that builds trust.
Choose neutral words
I kept repeating a word tied to immigration enforcement that can be very triggering for families living with that fear. It made the environment uncomfortable. I have removed it from my questions and now use neutral language, since the topic is clear once I explain the project.
Make it a conversation, not an interrogation
The serious mood I created felt more like an interrogation than the open conversation I intended. At one point I asked whether teachers and the school were doing anything to help students affected by immigration policies. The question made the interviewee feel defensive about their school and their role. It was too broad, and it ignored the fact that many schools are underfunded and understaffed and that many students do not share their situation because of shame.
Rewriting questions with warmth
After reflecting, I rewrote my questions to be warmer and more specific:
- From your experience, what kinds of support seem to help students cope with stress?
- Since many students may not share their situations openly, what signs do you look for?
These questions acknowledge real struggles in schools, do not assign blame, and open space for dialogue. By pacing myself, pausing between questions, using a warmer tone, and framing questions with empathy, I can create a safe space and connect better with the people I interview.